Dear Work, Please Don’t Read My IMs

For a while there were about 4 girls from my graduating class of 56 dating MMA fighters
Who knew it was such a desirable trait?
Right? Clearly we’re messing up by dating some regular schmos 
With all their not-broken faces and such.
Guys are only attractive if their noses have been broken at least once
I personally like cauliflower ear.
Twenty minutes later…
The poop is super cute on my iPhone