The Liebster Award

Thanks to J. Sander over at Don’t Delete Me for nominating me for the Liebster Award. If you comment on her blog and she replies, you’ll get an email that says Don’t Delete Me. Pretty clever.



  1. Get nominated
  2. Answer 11 questions from the nominator
  3. Nominate 11 others with under 200 followers
  4. Give them 11 questions to answer

My Answers to the 11 Questions:

  1. What do you really think will happen if there is a Zombie outbreak? A lot more people would enroll in programs like Chemistry, Biology, and probably Pharmacy. I’m no good at any of those, so I’ll just befriend the masses. We’ll get through this.
  2. If you met your idol in person, what would you do? Be unintentionally but inevitably awkward.
  3. If you could travel back in time, where/when would you go? I’d travel back to when my parents were dating, just out of curiosity. I’ve always found it weird to think about them pre-kids. Selfish, right?
  4. What is your favourite movie? Martian Child, which nobody has seen, so rather than link it to the IMDB page I went ahead and linked to where you can buy it, because I care about your quality of life.
  5. What is your main goal in life? HUG A MOTHER-FREAKIN’ DOLPHIN. Not just my main goal—my only goal.
  6. Do you have a pet? If so, what is it? I have 5 in my no-pets-allowed apartment. To avoid favorites, I shall list them in order of obtainment: Sally & Gomez, Mimi, Anakin & Flomar (you’re going to want to click on those links, because unlike terrible Craigslist ads, I promise adorable photos).
  7. What are you most afraid of? Public embarrassment and tearing my Achilles tendon.
  8. What is your favourite quote? That dog’s like a hundred years old! You wouldn’t do that to grandma! It’s from aforementioned Martian Child. You’re missing out.
  9. If someone told you when you were going to die, would you believe them? If so, how would you live your life up until that final day? Google tells me I’m going to die every day—usually of a rare cancer—and I always fall for it. I would live up my life by buying Jared a guitar so he’s forced to think about me when I’m gone, and moving home to spend my finals days with my family. Sorry, family.
  10. What do you think the meaning of life is? Not…dead? Oh, something serious and thought provoking? Um…I’m sticking with not dead.
  11. Are you wondering why there are 11 questions for everything and not an even number like 10 or 12? No, that’s what they do with these award things. A division of five would be alright with me.

My Nominations:

Since I’m a rule breaker and all that, I’m going to nominate some of my top commenters/likers (in no particular order) as a thank you for actually reading my ramblings.

  1. Stitch Boom Bang
  2. sland24
  3. artfullyadelie
  4. J. Sander
  5. tisfortea
  6. mocha
  7. longchaps2
  8. ksbeth
  9. viewsplash
  10. GiantGag
  11. Sian Mann

Ok, so I really just don’t know how to tell whether y’all have less than 200 followers or not, but I expect answers to the following:

11 Questions for You:

  1. If you had to name a band, what would you name it?
  2. You have one free weekend anywhere in the United States. Where do you spend it?
  3. If you could have any pet, what would it be?
  4. It’s your turn to plan date night. Ready, GO.
  5. What is your favorite website?
  6. What’s your favorite recipe?
  7. What is your favorite Watch Instantly show/movie on Netflix?
  8. How do you feel about my green pants?
  9. Do you really like sushi or do you like saying you like sushi?
  10. How do you feel about swimming?
  11. What is the best item to get off the Taco Bell menu? (I’m only asking this to tell you you’re wrong, unless you’re right.)

Yes, I did ask these questions with the intention of using your answers for my own personal enjoyment. I don’t care what your favorite color is, but if you know of a show I should be watching I totes want to know.


Bucket List

But not like the movie. I have only seen it once, and it was a really long time ago, but I’m pretty sure it was sad.

These are just things I want to do before someone is sticking beer cans on my headstone. (Do they do that wherever you are? Is it just an Iowa thing?)

1. Hug a dolphin. I want to do more than just see one, but I don’t need to swim or dance with it or anything like that. Just a hug will suffice.



Update: I have had this draft hanging around unpublished for a while, and it turns out my only real life goal is to hug a dolphin.

Buzzfeed Fail or Kimberly Fail?

I finally found the answer to why I don’t have girl friends in a list called 15 Reasons Best Friends Are Better Than Boyfriends.

1. You can get manicures with your BFF. What if my BFF is a male that is uncomfortable paying to have fingernails glued to his fingernails? Oh, my BFF is female? I’ll keep that in mind.

2. You can lay and play with each other’s hair. I don’t even want to touch my own hair. I’d be OK with this cat being my best friend, though. Oh, sorry—my “BFF”.


*Jared: they noted boyfriends don’t know how to braid hair. Do you know how to braid hair?

3. You can take field trips to the bathroom with your BFFs. I prefer not to have an audience. Oh, it’s to take selfies?! Congratulations, I didn’t think I could be less interested.

4. You can show off one million outfits in the dressing room together without any complaints. Wait, who’s not complaining? A million is a lot of outfits. I have like…4.

5. You can vent to your BFF about how being with your boyfriend is like taking care of a small child. I vent to my boyfriend about how being with my boyfriend is like taking care of a small child.

6. You can share pictures of dream wedding dresses with your BFF. *Boyfriends might assume you’re pushing the issue. I’m with the boyfriends on this one. Isn’t that what Pinterest is for? Not to mention you’ll only be disappointed when your dream dress is $10,000. Don’t you ever watch Say Yes to the Dress?

7. You can rely on your BFF having an extra tampon in her purse. Date a Boy Scout. They’re always prepared.

8. You can make choreographed dances with your BFF. I don’t dance.

9. You can dance into the morning light with your BFF, and they won’t get tired. Why doesn’t my BFF get tired? Did I mention I don’t dance?

10. You can feel less shame when your BFF sees you barf after a drunk night. I’m not convinced.

enhanced-3297-1395693541-1Oh, you added a photo of a girl passed out. Who took that picture? The anti-shaming BFF? Interesting.

11. You can always count on your BFF to pose for selfies with you, whenever, wherever. It’s not a question of whether they’ll pose with me. It’s whether they’ll choose to delete that photo they look perfect in, because I have six double chins and a zit the size of Cali that no filter is going to mask.

12. You can watch Downton Abbey on Sundays with your BFF. I assume they mean Downtown. They clearly haven’t discovered the compromise that is food for football.

13. You can give your BFF a spare set of keys to your apartment without it being a big deal. If I give my BFF my spare set of keys, what I am going to do when I inevitably lose mine, and they’re being all drama-I-hate-you-but-only-for-this-week-because-you-looked-at-me-wrong? Starve?

14. You can catch the bouquet at your BFF’s wedding. I don’t have to catch the bouquet at my BFF’s wedding, because I’ll be getting married to my inferior boyfriend. But cheer up—you have your BFFs and flowers!

15. No matter what, you can always depend on your BFF to be there for you. Until they find a boyfriend.

It’s Still Only Tuesday

Knowing all Google search terms will be encrypted at some point is disappointing, so I’m going to take full advantage of knowing how some people find my posts. Such as:

tuesday cat “it’s only tuesday?”

It’s a little weird how spot on that is to my Tuesday cat gif post, so I did some research (aka Googled Tuesday cat).


Why do all felines have bad spelling but understand apostrophes?


And why do all cats talk with ‘z’s?


Comic Sans? Still? Not even his new classy brother, Comic Neue?

Seriously, though. Despite all my negative comments, I might have to make Tuesday Cat a regular thing.

It’s cats…on Tuesday. Brilliant.