Struggle

I refuse to get on social media on my phone. It makes creeping through peoples posts unnoticed virtually impossible.

All I want to do is scroll, and I end up accidentally liking statuses about my fourth cousins roommates brother eating a marshmallow. Oh, your ‘grandma just passed away #missher #heaven’? Retweet.

A picture of your cute new puppy? Actually, that’s pretty cute. I’ll click like…or not, that’s alright. Go ahead and act like you don’t recognize my finger, even though you had super-sensitivity powers 12 seconds ago when you decided to add my second grade teachers daughter as a friend because my finger hovered in that general direction.

Unless this is the case. Then I will be trading in my creeping anonymity for laziness.