The Green Pants

Y’all know I’m not trendy. A little because it’s annoying and a lot because that would require shopping and public and things I generally avoid. Anyway, I was out shopping with the family (like, last summer) and was feeling particularly outgoing, because, well, I left the apartment. Hello, real world.

All of a sudden I was the new owner of a pair of mint green pants that look like this…

…except on someone who is 5′ 3″ and not a flamingo.

However, per typical Jared, he hates them. Not the hate like when I wear my Eminem or Rihanna shirts, and he shakes his head at me but doesn’t say anything. The kind of vocal hate where he feels like he has to say

You’re wearing your ugly pants! That color is ugly. They’re green! Who wears green pants? I can’t believe you’re wearing those pants.

Every. Time. Needless to say, these pants were quickly climbing the ranks of my favorite piece of clothing.

And then one time Jared said they were kind of growing on him. I had probably been wearing them for 48 hours straight, and he was probably intoxicated, but he said it, and that negates all the bad things he’s ever said about my green pants.

So, recently I mentioned wearing them to work (ok, it was an interview) and got:

Your ugly pants? That color is ugly. They’re green! Who wears green pants? I can’t believe you want to wear those pants to an interview.

But Jared, you said they were growing on you!

Yeah, like a fungus grows on toes.

So, are any of you in the market for some green skinny jeans?

Not About Jared. Not Even A Rant.

Hi, my name is Kimberly. It has been nineteen days since my last post about animals. I live with the daily struggle of not obsessing over them and forcing them upon unsuspecting people that may not (and probably don’t) love animals as much as I do.

With that being said, this is my chinchilla. Her name is Mimi (Mimikins, Mimi-baby). She was my first chinchilla, and debunks all birth order theories on getting less attention (assuming they apply to pets) because she is my favorite.

We have similar personalities. Mimi doesn’t like people and loves food, but is willing to endure human contact for food. Dandelion bites are her favorite, but they’re chuck full of sugar which is bad for her. That’s probably why they sell them at Walmart and not Petco.

Jared and I built her a hut to hang out in, which really just encourages her social anxiety, but she loves it and that’s all I need to justify it.

I’ll show restraint and end with this photo of her (on top of her cage that is taller than me) being the ninja-chinchilla that she is.

 

 

Ok, now I’m done. For real.